We need to create, find, use and maximise situations, events and activities that allow us to build relationships. I do not believe that we will do this by creating orchestrated events. I also believe that a week night is unlikely to be the best opportunity. As already stated on the forum we need to do less but do what we do, do better.

As part of a men’s Home Group (and since the Men’s Camp) we have recently been discussing the need to have sons connect more frequently with their own Fathers and their Fathers friends and in the case of single Mothers offering to get their sons involved with us. We also acknowledge that there is a need as “older” men to be mentors and examples to the younger men. In fact some younger Home Groups have requested this of us. This is not necessarily connecting with those outside the church but still is an important role for some of us to play.

To reach the non saved is a must do and we need to go to them and not expect them to come to one of our events. So where are they? What do they do? Once we have answered these questions we need to find out how, who and when we can get involved in the activity and how to build a relationship with them through this activity and it needs to be genuine relationships with genuine intentionality.

Some of the things our group has been doing is helping flood victims recover and rebuild their homes. This is something a group of men find easy to do: working with their hands while building friendships. We also have walking groups where the guys meet once a week after dinner and the kids are in bed. It usually ends up at a McCafe for desert and a chat. A lot of discussion and relationship building can evolve while pounding the footpath late at night. Other events that we as a group have initiated and invited people to are mountain bike rides, water skiing and a cycle ride along the Brisbane River with a picnic lunch at New Farm Park.

Activities that we could actively go to, to seek out and find non Christians could be the following:
–sports and hobby clubs
–school sporting events – strike up friendships with the parents on the sidelines
–volunteer to work on a food van
–volunteer to work at a soup kitchen (OZ Care, Club 139 etc)
–join a music club (jazz, opera etc)
–go to car enthusiasts events (4WD, Drags etc)

The key to selecting these is to be comfortable and natural in the activity. If you could find 2 or more from the Group to go together, it would assist in sustainability and keep motivation levels high. Another thing to consider is to set up rosters if appropriate. This would work in the volunteer type activities. However you must ensure that regular attendance is maintained as the goal is to build relationships.

In regards to proposals for how to reach out more, its hard to find a one size fits all. (Time/priorities is obviously the biggest obstacle). So lets thow up ideas to the groups, and better still good examples on how groups are doing it. Examples dont have to all come from KBC groups.

Our group has always had an objective of looking/reaching out. But making it happen was the tricky part. We looked at options of doing so as a group on a regular basis..say fortnightly or monthly. But then we recognised that many were already doing so individually through other avenues (eg RE, chapliancy, meals on wheels). What we decided to do then is:
1/ to encourage efforts being made by members outside of the group, by once a month having members sharing what they are doing, and having the group support them in prayer
2/ once a term having a group organised activity, such as participating in Yes We Care in 2nd term, following this up again in the 4th term, making things (eg meals and care boxes) and distributing to those in need.
Cant say it we do it all as well, and as much, as we’d like.

By the way, we meet 3 weeks in four, and find it a good compromise between every week and every fortnight. But we dont necessarily say reach out on the night off. We encourage members to go out with their spouse, and its usually on the weekend following one of those nightts that we schedule our once a term community outreach activitiy.

Blessings
Geoff

PS Having this forum seems a good way to communicate…but notice there is no spell check. Havent got time to proof-read this submission…hope it makes sense.

The challenge is the pace and sequence of meetings and events so that these do not become a burden but rather enable effective connection outside the church, really connecting and adding value to the community, incl small group ministry; and to train and develop leaders for tomorrow. We are all overwhelmed with the “tyranny of the urgent” and get consumed with all that happens in life (work, business, family, kids sport, incl the 100kms we drive every week, etc). So how can we as leaders create space to connect meaningfully, ensure emotional, spiritual and physical connection and good balance for all. Here are a few thoughts:

1. Think from the outside in: we are to be the light of the world, not hidden under a bucket (Matt 5: 13 to 16 Message). Be real but personally connected at community events; strike up conversations to invite people home for tea or a bbq or an organised kbc camping / cycling /sport event with kids. i.e. creat space where people can break out of their routines and busyness, be social with them in a relaxed environment where they can see ‘how we live’ and reach the unreached through friendship. If our kids connect with their kids, we will connect with them. This approach will require all us being far more intentional but without pressure, just make friends and they will see we are real, but connect in their world: sport events, community events, camping, fishing, knitting, mom– baby/ toddlers. Getting the small group and others to pray for these casual meet and greet / friendship events will be crucial. Our intent should be genuine, i.e. how to make a positive contribution to their lives, not a JW or Mormon apprach

2. Free up the members: Less is more. More meetings will not add more value, rather the quality and purpose of the meetings should become the attractor pattern. Small groups every two weeks works well, if longer the group lose connection and some ministry / personal needs are not seen to. However, groups should have the flexibility to switch between meeting as a group and being involved in events listed in no 1 above. The group stagnates when it becomes insular and do not grow through adding new people and / or opportunity to reach out to others. It is in giving and making positive contributions to others that a group grows. Over the last year we have gone through a ‘multilication process’ when the group grew rather fast and some members wanted to maintain the intimacy of a smaller group. This was rather painful for some as close friendships were challenged and deep questions asked about exclusiveness. The ultimate result: new members are joining, the group is growing (again) and new ministry io taking place, i.e. people are growing, even if it is painful

3. More training and support: It is less about formal training and more about leadership modelling and being actively involved in coaching / modeling how to lead. There is a need for KBC leaders to get closer to the community, less formal sessions and more informal connection, coaching and prayer. We as small group leaders need to connect more with one another and with the KBC leadership. The ‘empowerment’ and ‘trust’ placed in small group leaders is great, but if we are to be effective with building leadership capacity, it is going to be necessary to get a lot closer to the leaders, coach, mentor, disciple and learn to flow in the ministry to others, so that small groups have a heathly balance between just being a supportive community to one another and also being effective in ministry to one another and the community around them

Lastly: an annual calender is necessary (maybe it exists and I am just not aware of it). As small group leaders, we do not have enough lead time to plan around KBC meetings, social / kids / family and business commitments. It will be helpful if an annual calender can be published with leadership connecting points, training events and casual connecting with KBC leaders. LESS IS MORE